Chicken Chow Mein: The Takeout Fakeout You Need Tonight
You’re staring at your fridge. Again. The usual suspects—eggs, half a sad onion, and that mystery sauce—aren’t cutting it.
Enter chicken chow mein: the crispy, saucy, noodle-packed hero of lazy dinners. It’s faster than delivery, cheaper than therapy, and tastes like you actually know how to use a wok (spoiler: you don’t). Why settle for soggy takeout when you can make it better at home?
Let’s fix your life, one noodle at a time.
Why This Recipe Slaps
This isn’t just another stir-fry. The magic lies in the texture contrast: chewy noodles, crunchy veggies, and tender chicken, all coated in a sauce that’s sweet, salty, and umami-bombed. Plus, it’s customizable—swap proteins, veggies, or spice levels like you’re the boss of this kitchen (because you are).
And the best part? It’s ready in 20 minutes, or roughly the time it takes to argue about what to watch on Netflix.
Ingredients You’ll Need
- 8 oz chow mein noodles (or sub spaghetti in a pinch—we won’t tell)
- 2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, sliced thin (because no one likes chewing leather)
- 2 tbsp soy sauce (low-sodium if you’re trying to adult)
- 1 tbsp oyster sauce (the secret weapon)
- 1 tbsp hoisin sauce (for sweetness that won’t quit)
- 2 cloves garlic, minced (or 3 if you’re single and not kissing anyone later)
- 1 cup shredded cabbage (the crunch factor)
- 1 carrot, julienned (fancy word for “matchsticks”)
- 2 tbsp vegetable oil (for that glorious stir-fry sizzle)
- 1 tsp sesame oil (don’t skip—this is the flavor fairy)
- Green onions, for garnish (aka the Instagram touch)
How to Make It: Step-by-Step
- Cook the noodles according to the package, then drain and toss with a splash of oil to prevent clumping.
- Marinate the chicken in 1 tbsp soy sauce while you prep the veggies. Multitasking wins.
- Heat the veg oil in a wok or large skillet over high heat.
Add chicken and cook until no longer pink (about 3-4 mins). Remove and set aside.
- Sauté garlic for 30 seconds until fragrant. Toss in cabbage and carrot, stir-frying for 2 mins until slightly tender but still crunchy.
- Add the noodles, chicken, remaining soy sauce, oyster sauce, hoisin, and sesame oil.
Toss like you mean it.
- Garnish with green onions and pretend you’re a Michelin chef. Serve immediately.
Storage: Because Leftovers Happen
Store in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 3 days. Reheat in a skillet with a splash of water to revive the noodles—microwaving turns them into a sad, rubbery mess.
FYI, the veggies will soften, but the flavor still slaps.
Why This Recipe Is a Win
It’s balanced (protein, carbs, veggies—check), fast (20 mins vs. 40 mins of scrolling Uber Eats), and forgiving (burned the chicken a little? Sauce covers a multitude of sins). Plus, it’s cheaper than takeout, and you get to wear pajamas while cooking.
Winning.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Overcooking the noodles. They should be al dente—no one wants mush.
- Crowding the pan. Stir-fry in batches if needed.
Steam isn’t the goal here.
- Skipping the sesame oil. It’s the flavor MVP. Don’t be that person.
- Using bottled “stir-fry sauce”.
Homemade takes 2 mins and tastes 10x better.
Alternatives for the Adventurous
No chicken? Use shrimp, beef, or tofu. Veggie-heavy?
Throw in bell peppers, snap peas, or mushrooms. Gluten-free? Swap soy sauce for tamari and use rice noodles.
Spice lovers, add sriracha or chili flakes. IMO, the only wrong move is not making it at all.
FAQs
Can I use spaghetti instead of chow mein noodles?
Yes, but boil them 1 min less than usual. They’ll soften more when stir-fried.
It’s not traditional, but it works in a pinch.
Why is my chow mein soggy?
You probably overcooked the noodles or drowned it in sauce. Noodles should be drained well, and sauce added gradually.
Can I make this ahead?
Prep the veggies and sauce ahead, but cook it fresh. Leftovers are decent, but fresh is best.
What’s the best substitute for oyster sauce?
Mix 1 tbsp soy sauce + 1 tsp brown sugar + a dash of fish sauce.
It’s not perfect, but it’ll do.
Final Thoughts
Chicken chow mein is the weeknight warrior you deserve: fast, flavorful, and foolproof. It’s the dish that makes you look like you’ve got your life together (even if you don’t). So grab that wok, channel your inner takeout chef, and get cooking.
Your taste buds—and wallet—will thank you.
