Want to Lose Weight Fast? Try the Cabbage Soup Diet (Yes, Really)

You’ve heard of it. You’ve mocked it.

But guess what? The cabbage soup diet works—if you survive the monotony. This 7-day crash diet has been around since the Stone Age (or at least the 1980s), and people still swear by it for quick weight loss.

Is it magic? No. Is it sustainable?

Also no. But if you need to drop a few pounds fast for that reunion/wedding/impromptu beach trip, this soup is your new best friend. Just don’t blame us when you dream about cabbage for a week.

Why This Recipe Slaps

This isn’t your grandma’s bland, mushy cabbage soup.

The recipe packs flavor with onions, garlic, and tomatoes, so you won’t feel like you’re punishing yourself. It’s also stupidly low in calories (we’re talking 100-ish per bowl), which is the whole point. Plus, it’s vegan, gluten-free, and dirt cheap to make.

Win-win-win.

Ingredients (AKA The Stuff You’ll Regret Buying in Bulk)

• 1 head of green cabbage (shredded, because no one wants to chew through a whole leaf)
• 2 large onions (diced, unless you enjoy crying)
• 4 carrots (sliced, because round carrots are weird)
• 4 celery stalks (chopped, for that sad diet crunch)
• 6 cloves garlic (minced, unless you’re a vampire)
• 1 28-oz can diced tomatoes (with juice, don’t drain it—this isn’t a salad)
• 8 cups vegetable broth (low-sodium, unless you enjoy bloating)
• 2 bell peppers (any color, diced, for ~aesthetics~)
• 1 tbsp paprika (for pretending this is gourmet)
• Salt and pepper (to taste, but let’s be real, you’ll overdo it)

How to Make It (Without Setting Your Kitchen on Fire)

1. Sauté the onions, garlic, carrots, and celery in a large pot with a splash of broth (or water) for 5 minutes. No oil needed—this is a diet, remember?
2. Add the cabbage and bell peppers. Stir like you mean it. Cook for another 5 minutes until the cabbage wilts slightly.
3. Dump in the tomatoes, broth, and paprika. Bring to a boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 20-30 minutes.

   Stir occasionally so it doesn’t stick (like your regrets).

4. Season with salt and pepper. Taste it. Add more salt. Taste again.

   Repeat until you forget you’re eating diet food.

5. Serve hot. Or cold. Or room temp. Honestly, after Day 3, you won’t care.

How to Store It (Because You’ll Have Leftovers)

Let the soup cool, then chuck it in an airtight container.

It lasts 5 days in the fridge or 3 months in the freezer. Reheat on the stove or microwave—just don’t burn your mouth. You’ve suffered enough.

Benefits (Besides the Obvious Weight Loss)

• Packed with fiber to keep you full(ish).
• Hydrating (thanks, broth), so you’ll pee every 20 minutes.
• Vitamins for days—C, K, A, and more.

  Your immune system will throw a party.

• Cleans out your system (read: you’ll become best friends with your toilet).

Common Mistakes (Don’t Be That Person)

• Over-salting. You’ll retain water and look puffier than the cabbage.
• Eating only soup. The diet plan includes other foods (like fruit and lean protein)—ignore this, and you’ll pass out by Day 2.
• Not drinking water. Dehydration headaches are worse than cabbage breath.
• Expecting miracles. It’s a short-term fix, not a lifestyle. IMO, use it as a jumpstart.

Alternatives (For the Cabbage-Haters)

If cabbage isn’t your thing, try these swaps:

• Zucchini noodles for bulk (but it’s not as filling).
• Kale or spinach (though you’ll miss the crunch).
• Add tofu or chicken for protein (if you’re not strict about the original plan).

FAQs (Because You Have Questions)

Can I eat anything else on this diet?

Yes, but barely. The classic plan allows limited fruits, veggies, and lean protein on specific days.

Check the full guidelines unless you enjoy guessing (and failing).

Will I gain the weight back?

Probably. It’s mostly water weight. For long-term results, pair this with actual diet changes.

Shocking, right?

Can I drink coffee?

Yes, but skip the cream and sugar. Black coffee is your new lifeline.

Why does this soup make me gassy?

Cabbage + fiber = digestive fireworks. FYI, your coworkers will notice.

Final Thoughts

The cabbage soup diet is a brutal but effective short-term fix.

It’s not sexy, it’s not fun, but it works. Just don’t do it longer than a week, or you might turn into a cabbage. Pair it with healthier habits afterward, and maybe—just maybe—you’ll keep the weight off.

Now go forth and simmer.